I said I’d tell you more later about what makes it so good.  Here’s part of it.  I am finally, sometimes, able to let myself slow down.  This is different than us not being rushed for time… this is me getting over a long-term hangup. 

I spent many years in relationships with men who had little to no interest in having sex with me, and one in particular who made me feel guilty for wanting to take my time when I finally did get him in the sack. I had some fleeting idea that building up to orgasm slowly could make them better, but after one particularly scarring incident where I tried, I gave up on that idea.  So the combination of getting laid once in a blue moon and feeling like someone was doing me a favor when it actually happened meant that I tried to get off as quickly as possible.  I’d chase that orgasm down like a freaking unicorn - “Oh God there it is GRAB IT QUICK!!” 

It’s been a hard habit to get over - both physically and psychologically.  Being with someone who actually likes to make me come has taken some time to accept, and my body has trained itself to come in a hurry regardless of what my mind says anyway.

But I’m getting there, and last night is a good example.  I could have come almost immediately.  He knows exactly how to touch me.  But I stopped him when I was on the edge and gave myself some time.  For a minute, I thought I had lost it.  You know that feeling, when you almost come, and then don’t, and then can’t… but he’s patient. He built me back up, and Tumblrs, let me tell you.  I thought I was going to black out. And when I came back to earth, I thought I was done for the night.  I was wrong.  I’ll tell you about that next.

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